I felt some
warm air near my ear but I was so sleepy so I couldn't open my eyes. He slowly
touched my fingers, I moved my hand a little bit. He again touched it. Touched
each fingers and then held my hand. I tried to take my hand from him but he
held it very tightly.. He came closer to me now. No, I need to get away from
him but I was so tired. He took my head and made me lean against his shoulder.
He hugged me with loads of warmth and love. One part of my heart want to be in
his warmth, it was satisfied, it was longing for this only but another part of
my heart want to get away from his hold, his last words were carved in that. I
was struggling with both. He held me tightly than before, I could hear his
heart beat. It was beating fast. His breath was kissing my forehead. I think he
is going to kiss. But no, I shouldn't allow this. He didn't apologize to me
till now. His breath getting closer to me more and more
No………no………..no
………….. I got up from bed.
‘Hey what
happened?’ He shook me. Again he touched me.
‘No….
no……….. Don’t do this……… please. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.’ I fell down from bed.
He suddenly
came near me ‘Harini, what happened? Got any nightmares again?’
He is
talking like he didn't do anything. I stared at him.
‘I am
talking to you only, before anyone come, answer me.’ He asked.
‘Why you
touched me?’ I asked.
‘Then how
can I lift you? ’
‘I didn't ask now. While I was sleeping!!’
‘I didn't touch you, I was saying story only. You slept but after some time you were
murmuring something and got up. ’
What he is
saying? I had dream then? If this is dream then it would be the worst dream in
my lifetime. But it was so real. No, he is lying. My mom used to say that our
inner thoughts only will come in our dream. But I didn't think about him. Why
should I think like he was touching me? Am I longing for his warm? No No.
But……yeah I was confused a little bit yesterday when we were in hotel but still
I’m not thinking about that.
‘Are you
sleeping with open eyes?’ He asked.
‘Don’t lie
to me. ‘I will forgive you. Say the truth.’
‘Harini, are
you alright? Shall I call mom?’
He was
saying truth only. I had dream.
‘Sorry, I am
ok. I had night mare.’
‘About that
accident?’
‘No, Worst
than that.’ I got up and sat in bed. He gave water and sat with me. His face
was very dull.
‘In college
days you don’t have this kind of problem, right?’ He asked in sad tone.
‘What
problem?’
‘Two days I
have been watching you, in sleep you were murmuring something and struggling.’
‘Oh…
actually this started after college, my mom used to say this to me. Like this I
had fallen many times from bed. Sometimes I screamed in sleep also.’
‘Why what
happened to you on those days?’ He asked like he doesn't know anything.
Has he lost
his mind or teasing me again? He is the reason for everything but asking me
what happened. May be he got in to accident and forgot everything? But still he
reminds me and having the same adamant and ignorant character.
He is
playing for sure.
‘I started
to watch more ghost movies Gautham, nothing else. You sleep. Good night.’ I
leaned on bed again. I was really confused by his behavior.
Next day… My
day started in his face. He was sleeping near me, I saw his face like this is
the last time I am seeing him. He is really a big child. Now only I can see him
properly otherwise he would ask me so many questions. Also if he doesn't talk,
his eyes will speak more than that. What a boy he is? Never talked lovely words
but still when he is around, we can feel how much love and care he has on us.
His nose is growing along with his temper, wait I will cut it. His lips,
hmmmmmmmmm not bad. Oh God, I am admiring him. But seeing his face will not
increase love. If it increased then everything will get collapsed. For his
childish face I couldn't forget what he did. He is having lovely eyes, I have
not yet seen even a single drop of tear for me.
I got up
suddenly from bed.
‘Where are
you going?’ He asked without opening his eyes. Was he awake when I was seeing?
Does he know that I was seeing him?
‘When you
got up?’ I asked.
‘Before
you.’
Then he
knows everything, Oh god, why this day started like this, ‘Hmmm then why you didn't get ready for office?’
‘Office??
All my relatives are here. They don’t know about Chennai. We only have to be
with them.’
‘So you are
not going to office?’
‘We are not
going. If you go to office then all will think badly about you. Sleep for
sometime then go and do breakfast for all. Cook well, don’t cook like yesterday
lunch.’ He started in morning itself.
‘You could
have said to me. You said lunch was good yesterday.’
‘Yeah, but I
can’t lie daily. Sleep my dear wife. ’ He said and turned back.
I called
Shalini and informed. I don’t want to sleep again with him. I got up and
started to prepare breakfast. His relatives totally 7 people came along with
his mom and sister. I thought of staying in home but they called me also with
them for shopping. We went in car. I sat in front seat. After his family came,
he is fully packed up with energy. He is smiling more often now.
We entered
in to saree section. Some time I helped and sometime I was just an audience. It
took 4 to 5 hours for them to take 10 sarees but all are nice. Gautham was
jumping from one person to another, I never saw him like this. In those days,
many times he chose dress for me but he used to take more time than me. If I
ask why taking this much time he would say “I want to choose best dress for
you.”
‘Why are you
smiling now?’ He asked. I forgot he was standing near me. I said nothing and
went near to his mom.
‘You are not
taking any saree?’ she asked.
‘I think
husband and wife will come alone and take.’ One of his relative said.
‘Not like
that aunty.’ I said
‘Anni (In
Tamil culture they will call brother’s wife), then you take sarees now.
Anna(brother) you help her to choose.’ His sister told.
Gautham and
I exchanged a look. He came near me and asked shop keeper to get sarees. I
don’t know whether he was acting for his family or really he was interested but
I was happy but little bit only that I am going to get saree from him for first
time.
After one
hour he chose one saree, pink color with golden border. It was so nice. He
asked my decision. What I can say except Ok. For all sarees Gautham and his mom
shared the money, but for my saree alone he asked to put bill separately and he
paid the bill.
I can’t
control my happiness, I don’t want to smile in front of everyone so I came out
of the shop and started to walk to the car. I was flying in the sky. If he took
for name sake then why he paid the bill. I am going to wear saree which Gautham
gave me.
‘Harini.’
One voice screamed at me.
I came to
earth, NO… I was standing in middle of the road. I tried to cross the road but
one car came near me very fast, I stood in the road itself I totally forgot to
cross, actually I don’t know what to do in that situation, but the car just
missed to dash me. But still I was standing there. Someone took my hand tightly
and crossed the road. It was Gautham.
‘Are you out
of your mind? Don’t you know how to cross the road? About what you were
thinking?’ He yelled at me. I can’t say anything. Tears flooded in my eyes.
Before I realize what has happened he started to scold me. Why he is doing like
this? Can’t he ask how I am, first?
‘Gautham
don’t shout pa. She is crying. She might have walked properly only.’ His mom
was supporting me.
Are you
child? Who asked you to come out of the shop? What would have happened if he
hit you? Open your eyes and walk in the road.’ He again yelled.
Doesn't he
know anything other than yelling? Has he ever cared me? He is causing pain
only.
‘You scold
her after we reach home. Everyone is seeing here only. ’ His mom requested him.
‘He is
expert in shouting in front of everyone aunty.’ I said and took off my hand
from him…
I sat in
car. He drove very fast. All were maintaining silence.
Then only I
came to realize how stupid I was. He got scared and shouted in care. But
without understanding anything I shouted at him, that too in front of his mom.
Yeah like he say I am nuts. I did a great mistake. Its words full in fear and
care. I have to ask sorry to him.
We came to
home. He was still in his seat. All got down.
‘Have you
got any scratches? Shall we go to hospital?’ He asked.
‘No, I am
alright.’
‘I should
not shout like that. But I got scared. I called your name but you didn't turn
back.’
‘Its ok. I
can understand.’
‘You see any
where and walk, but…. hold my hand alone.’
I was
speechless. He didn't talk like this even when we were in college. I shouldn't fall for him and end up in grief again.
I don’t have
any words to tell him than this. I told ‘ Don’t worry Gautham. I will get
transfer to Delhi soon. My project manager said to me yesterday. ’Saying this I
came out of the car. He took the car and drove away……..
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